you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
