I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
