I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
