You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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