what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
