I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
