Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
where am i from again
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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