You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
did i just pee glitter
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
