how can u be prego again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
