i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
