I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
even my farts smell like vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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