just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
