Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
