I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
