He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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