Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's the barista slut.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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