Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
