Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
pray to the hookup gods
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
