I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
