I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
