Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
