weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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