i wish my penis had a tongue
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
