Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
