Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This baby is an asshole
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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