in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
