i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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