The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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