whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize