there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
