she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
