i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
