I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize