I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
