Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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