Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
