I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
