i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
