I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
