Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
