Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
