Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
