will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
