He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
