Got a toothbrush?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
