I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
