yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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