Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
