so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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