her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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