im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
