Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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