She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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