STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
