Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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