even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize