I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
