do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
