So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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