Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i drank out of a bidet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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