I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
