Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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