Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
time to smoke my breakfast
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
