I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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