I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
