what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize