I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
