he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
