I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
