Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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