Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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