me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
