i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
