I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
